So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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