Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
