I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
