I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
