do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
