i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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