That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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