her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
