Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
