You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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