Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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