I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
