we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
