dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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