How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize