She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
