Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
