Where is the hickey?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
