JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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