we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize