i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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