You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Semen is not good for contacts.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
