My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
