my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm bleeding and have questions
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
