Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
