fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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