Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
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