quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
