there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
