smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
