jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
