question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
