He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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