I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
as a side note pls kill me
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
