i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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