Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
