You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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