lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
