Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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