Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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