I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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