therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
