I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
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