im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
