Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Someone shattered a urinal.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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