Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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