No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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