i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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