So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
