U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
