And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
