No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
