It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize