You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
