we're blogging at a bar
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
