I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
