i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
