goodnight i made you a song goodbye
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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