So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
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