Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
