I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
