do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
