I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
well I can't set my house on fire every night
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
