so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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